…you in the morning…?
Sooo…not all that different from a man…
I can NOT believe this book is still being talked about. (And yes, I guess I am just adding fuel to the fire – but it’s cheap fuel…)
But anyway…according to a survey done by Dotty Bingo (Which is an online Bingo site so you KNOW the results are scientifically sound)
Click on the audio to hear the results of this in-depth study…
Ok…now this kinda ticks me off…I’m going to quote to you from the article found at the The Daily Mail in the UK:
Of the 400 women polled – all aged between 25 and 50 – 43 per cent said books such as the Fifty Shades trilogy by EL James made their own love lives seem routine and boring.
They cited ease, a lack of energy and lack of imagination in the bedroom as reasons why their sexual encounters paled in comparison to sex scenes they’d read
English mother-of-two Erika Mitchell, 49, wrote the erotic Fifty Shades trilogy using the pen name EL James.
She describes her books as ‘romantic fantasy’ stories, which offer women a ‘holiday from their husbands’ and has received letters from fans crediting her books with saving their marriages by spicing up their sex lives.
I think I’m a little offended on behalf of the men folk…”A holiday from their husbands”? A) That can describe any Harloquin or Barbara Woodwise novel. and B) And guys can’t look at porn why…? This woman’s acting like she invented the erotic story…(Well I sure as heck ain’t calling it literature!)
Routine and boring? I’m gonna side with the guys here for a moment…as I said earlier – lack of communication is a BIG thing here. Plus – helloooooooooo I don’t know about you, but I get tired sometimes at the end of the day as I’m sure most men are too after a 8 hour day and these women expect their guys to come home and be a sexual dynamo??? How offended do these same women get when they find their guys reading/watching porn? “After the day I had they expect ME to put on fishnets and a bustier??? Dream on Mister…” and “Oh those women are so fake…that’s not how REAL women are…”
Books are great – I *love* books! They can fire the imagination but they AREN’T always realistic – everything can be perfect…everyone well rested and full of Gatoraid and vitamins. No interruptions (unless it’s the well-hung pizza guy) and everyone always says the right thing… How often does that ever REALLY happen???
If you want the romance/hot sex/racy lingerie you’re gonna have to MAKE time for it…communicate your wants/needs/desires…give and take…all of it! ”
“Oh..it’s wont be spontaneous…”
No duh…the spontaneity comes AFTER the good and effective communication.
“I want to be swept away…”
Here’s a head’s up…so does your partner!
Let’s go back to the whole “Communication” thing…I have YET to meet a man (speaking as a woman) that has ever said to me: “Fantasies? Noooo…don’t wanna hear about them lalalalalaaaa…”
Quite the contrary they are quite anxious (and eager) to hear about them…and as a woman, I enjoy hearing them as well. Even on line…lovers-to-be often talk openly about their wants, fantasies, and desires…that’s half the fun!
Now, a book (series of books) I recommend was written by Nancy Friday. And they’re all based on women’s sexual fantasies…and one about men’s which I thought was more than fair…
(And if you click on their images, they’ll take you to Amazon where you can read a little bit from the books)
Hmmmm…I don’t think I have that one…time to go shopping!
These can also open the door to discussion…you and your partner can go through the books..pick out ones that intrigue you…if you can’t come out and say it openly, mark them in the book and leave them for your partner to find/read later…
One part of the population we haven’t heard much have been those who are actually IN the BDSM lifestyle. Most that I know of consider the books a joke and an unrealistic view of their lifestyle. A blog at: A Whole Lot Of Nothing a friend of the author gave her own 2 cents about the books and what it means for her and her husband who live the life 24/7. Personally, I’d love to put the whole blog post up here, but that’s not fair to the person who wrote it but I will put up segments…take a click over and read the whole thing yourself. But for now…
The book would have you believe that the contract is an actual piece of paper that needs to be signed and notarized. Not so:
Second on the ruining my life list: The Contract
“I have rules that I must follow or I will be punished for my disobedience. These are not rules that Sir makes up off the top of his head. These are rules that were discussed at length before we chose together what would be best for our relationship. There was no him handing me a contact for me to sign without taking into consideration our life together. My rules are in place to keep me healthy and happy. If I feel that I am being treated unfairly, we discuss it.”
Wow – you mean SHE as a sub has an actual SAY??? But…that’s not what the book implies…
And of course…much like the internet…you can only find good solid facts in “50 Shades”…right…?
Fourth: Every suburban housewife is now a BDSM expert.
“I live this life every single day, and I don’t know everything. I am still learning and growing as a submissive, and I will continue to do so until my last breath.”
Maybe she if read the book…then she too will know all there is to know…
And this one is IMPORTANT:
Fifth: The Dom is the one in control.
“This one is laugh-out-loud funny. I am the one in complete control. I have my safe words; if I use them, it must stop. If whatever we are doing doesn’t stop, then it is abuse. A good Dominant will know to stop before you even get to your word.”
How does the author’s friend feel the book has negatively affected her? This is what she had to say: ““A lot of people think that I can change Sir the way she (Ana) changed him (Christian) then we can be ‘normal.’”
Normal??? Sure, the books have made the BDSM lifestyle more out in the open…in some ways it’s helped open SOME lines of communication…but it’s also held the D/s community up as a shining example of how those who don’t always prefer the “Vanilla” lifestyle but the more exotic (yet to them, perfectly natural) is deviant and all it takes is a good woman to bear the pain of another – out of love of course – to help save him and bring him back to the “right way” of thinking/having sex….and learn what love REALLY is… *sniffle*
…does anyone else feel like hurling…?
Not tonight dear, I'm reading: Almost half of women say they would rather read about sex than have it Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2161015/Fifty-Shades-Grey-effect-Almost-half-women-read-sex-it.html#ixzz29dysnofz
Ladies and gentlemen…Nazareth…oh like you didn’t see THIS one coming a mile away…